DISQUS

Jared Goralnick · 1 year ago

But if I spend all my time online, what good will these poses offer?

Nick Cernis · 1 year ago

Personal fave: "Get as Horizontal as Possible While Sitting." I get told off for this all the time. Posture? Pah!

Thanks for the laugh, Clay.

Dave Navarro · 1 year ago

My favorite: "Master the Confident Gaze."

That will get you EVERYWHERE.

Mark Krusen · 1 year ago

My feet are all wet now. Let me towel them off before I comment.:)As I look through the list of things I would have to do to be considered a bad a-- #7 seems like to me it would be the hardest for me to do. You see, when I get going I talk 100 mph. Justa ask my wife.

Clay Collins · 1 year ago

@Jared: Darn! I left out the part about cyber body language :-)

@Mark: [Chuckle]. I'm glad it made your laugh.

Amanda Linehan · 1 year ago

So, what's your favorite James Dean movie? I've seen Rebel Without a Cause and East of Eden, haven't seen Giant. I'd go with East of Eden as the one I liked the most.

Clay Collins · 1 year ago

@Amanda: I actually like giant the best, but I'm into the alt-western thing anyway. Really didn't like RWOAC and can't remember much of east of eden, which is sad.

Vered - MomGrind · 1 year ago

You're a funny man. :)

I am curious to know if these would work for women as well. Society's expectations of women tend to be a little different. I can definitely see how the gaze, slow talking and strategic smiling would work for a woman. But leaning against stuff, assuming an open posture and taking a lot of space are very male.

Jeska · 1 year ago

This was a very fun and interesting blog! I enjoyed it... and to answer Vered-MomGrind's question... My opinion is that this stuff would probably work the same for a woman in certain situations. Body language is very effective in portraying confidence, coolness, and stature. An open posture, sitting on unconventional things, modifying the lean, this can all be done by a woman. I also find that sitting as horizontally as possible helps to make you feel more relaxed. It also takes strain off of your vertebrae (from a massage therapist's perspective). Girls don't have to be as girly anymore to be accepted, also. Cute!

MonkMojo · 1 year ago

Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli (also known as The Fonz) schooled Dean on cool.




Great post Clay.

Marelisa · 1 year ago

Talking slowly is definitely one of the best things you can do to convey self-confidence. Some people recommend that you tape yourself as you speak and play it back to yourself; most people will notice that they talk a lot faster than they think they do.

@Vered: I think that one of the reasons there's such a huge problem with eating disorders among women is that women try to make themselves smaller and take up less and less space. I'm all for taking up as much space as you want, regardless of what other people think.

Louise Pool · 1 year ago

Clay, you have surpassed yourself with this! You keep getting better and better...

Vered, these all work for women as well. I am a great leaner and taker up of space :-). But one does run the risk of being labeled an arrogant bitch, if one is not "sweet". Perhaps this is because these things would be perceived as male, as you point out. But if it works for Angelina Jolie, it works for me ...

@Stephen | Productivity in Con · 1 year ago

>>Louise, women should be careful, however, with assuming too open of a posture. It invites leering, ogling, and an air of availability.

Unless that's what you're going for, of course.

Wendi Kelly · 1 year ago

BWAHAHAHA!!!

Are you sure you didn't interview my 14 year old son for this?
I see this stuff every day!

To funny Clay.
Of course, we know what happened to him in the end...
not so funny...

It really does make for a good reminder on body language and how we portray ourselves to others.

I love it.

Liara Covert · 1 year ago

Its meaningful to reflect on who we admire and why. Through examining our own thougths and feelings on this subject, we gradually get closer to knowing who we really are (and who we are not). Rather than try to be someone else, it is desirable to embrace and accept all that we are.

Pat R · 1 year ago

Boy, I had forgotten how good Dean was. Enjoyed reminiscing and watching the video clips.

As far as trying to copy what he did for coolness, don't think it would work if you weren't authentic with who you are.

Clay Collins · 1 year ago

@Monk: You're completely right. The Fonz did school dean, despite the bad pompadour :-).

@Pat R: You're completely right. Much of this post was tongue-in-cheek. I hope that came across.

Pat R · 1 year ago

I get that - I was mostly enjoying the video clips.

Evelyn Lim · 1 year ago

Oh my, Clay, what a lesson on looking Cool!!

Evelyn

Jay · 1 year ago

Solid tips on emulating one seriously badass guy. Too bad my chirpractor would likely disagree with most of them!

gttim · 1 year ago

David DeAngelo teaches this stuff and does mention James Dean. You are now bookmarked!

Clay Collins · 1 year ago

GTTIM: You mean Eban Pagan?

gttim · 1 year ago

That would be him.

Bearotic.com · 1 year ago

I think this could be a guide to modeling too. :)

dave trouble · 1 year ago

I think this only works if you are devastatingly handsome and sexy as hell. Otherwise you come off looking like an arrogant asshole for no apparent reason, and why bother with one of those?

Nicole · 1 year ago

James Dean is just unreal. Watch Giant. He is amazing. Everything there is to know about cool is in the flick. Even the Rock had it going on.

BeyondRandom · 1 year ago

Hmmmmm...I'm gonna have to try these! lol
Great post

Jason B · 1 year ago

Good stuff. Of course, what made Dean so cool was that he did it his way. If you like talking fast and sitting straight as a peg, then why do Dean's thing? Also there is the fact that he was a depressive alcoholic, which may or may not have made him cooler, depending on your ideal.

Chris Edgar · 1 year ago

I enjoyed this post. I think one important thing to realize when it comes to body language is that it can arise naturally out of your emotional state, even if you aren't specifically paying attention to how your body is moving. I know that my own posture became much more relaxed when I worked on releasing a lot of the pent-up emotion I was carrying in my body, even though I didn't specifically set out to adopt certain behaviors. When you change yourself on the inside, you don't have to pay so much attention to how you appear to others to make a good impression.

T Bone · 1 year ago

Sounds like a real douchebag to me. Still I'd let him tea bag me.

Louise Pool · 1 year ago

- Chris. I basically agree that it should arise naturally, but as a very shy teenager I worked at appearing cool, calm and collected by adopting all the postures and mannerisms Clay describes. It didn't feel natural at all at the time, but the more I practiced the more relaxed and confident I actually became. After a while, it wasn't just second nature, but "first nature". It works both ways, I think - by relaxing the body, the mind/soul can become relaxed as well. (Btw, my teenage years are long gone and I'm a cool calm and collected forty-something.)

Kelly@SHE-POWER · 1 year ago

I loved Giant and I still think Jimmy Dean epitomizes coolness like no other. Although now that I think of it, Steve McQueen also had a lot of these brooding, intense qualities but in a much manlier form.

Fabulous post and congrats on how well it's done on Digg.

:) Kelly

JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, Yo · 1 year ago

haha I'm smitten just reading the description on what the bad*ss ought to be doing

well done dude lol

Will · 1 year ago

"93% of communication is non-verbal." I don't know who said that, and I'm not sure if it's quite that much... but make no mistake that everybody communicates A LOT non-verbally, and being aware of it is a great skill to have.

As for this particular list, a lot of it is very true, but I don't recommend scowling or staring at people all the time though, because you will get your ass kicked eventually.

Sonia Mascaro · 1 year ago

Great post! Love it!

Hunter Nuttall · 1 year ago

Wow Clay, this is great! Sorry I was on hiatus when it came out, but I guess a late Digg is better than no Digg.

Desika Nadadur | I Am My Own M · 1 year ago

Clay,

Did James Dean suffer from Spinal health problems? He had terrible posture.

My opinion is that if we change how "we feel" about "ourselves," that will automatically show up in our body language. But, if we just pretend, only that pretension becomes evident. BTW, I am not saying James Dean is pretending; he probably felt what is expressing.

Well, it is my opinion, anyway.

Thanks,
Desika

tsims · 1 year ago

Great post!

I also like the move he does with his hat in the top video:

Step 1: wear cowboy hat tilted forward, minding your own business
Step 2: offer acknowledgement of another by pushing the had back and giving them a quick confident gaze

* be sure to perform the above steps while maintaining Rules #1 & 2

Tyler @ Building Camelot · 1 year ago

I feel cooler already! Thanks for a great post and I love all the pictures - good job!

gold digger · 1 year ago

great post! congrats on being editors choice on the first manival!

Gary · 1 year ago

Beg to differ on the leaning/draping issue. Slouching and not being able to hold yourself upright makes you a lazy*ss. I don't remember ever seeing John Wayne holding up a wall. The same for Sean Connery, Chuck Norris, Jet Li, Steve McQueen, or any Ranger, Marine or SEAL.

Alex | Livingwish · 1 year ago

haha, this is an awesome post. Some of those poses made me laugh for like 20 minutes...Sitting horizontal as possible made the whole article in my opinion. hehe

Im back actually. Had a few things to take care of, and will be a loyal reader once again :)

Hot Quiz · 1 year ago

JD was bad to the bone, no doubt, but I believe the horizontal positioning may not be in style as to date

brett · 1 year ago

this guy is not badass

Rich · 1 year ago

Cool

kadavy · 1 year ago

I agree with @Hot Quiz. This type of behavior may have been cool and rebellious back in the day, but it's been so copied over the years that having good posture and being polite is rebellious enough to perhaps be considered "bad ass."

Mikey · 1 year ago

Holy crap

Sarah · 1 year ago

hahahaha
clay, it's highly amusing to see this actually written out in blog-form. very funny.

however, i feel it is my womanly duty to say that i sure hope there aren't any guys out there taking this seriously!! i completely disagree with achieving bad-assedness through horizontal posturing.
personally, for me, (and i think other women out there will agree), there's nothing sexier than a man who is just natural, listens, and, ahem, LEANS TOWARD me while i am talking. ;)

but...i dunno, maybe that's just me.

koda · 1 year ago

sarah... it is just you. girls don't fall for that crap. if guys are too easy, girls don't bite the bait

Dot H. | Deeper Issues · 1 year ago

Years ago when I read a book on body language, it recommended sitting back in your chair, looking relaxed, and keeping your body open (no crossed arms) if you want to look like a boss. Something about the fact that nervous, insecure people can't relax like that.

I also think Dean was expressing aloofness and detachment from other people. Once I saw some TV footage of Elvis practicing being cool and sexy. It was quite effective. However, I think coolness is overrated.

Chris · 1 year ago

Damn Clay, I could've used this back when I was single.

Honestly bro, I bet there's a lot of PUA/Guru's out there who'd wished they'd wrote this thing.

You nailed it Clay. Now I'm going site on something unconventional... damn I wish I'd thought of that one before

Mike · 1 year ago

great post

Kiefer · 1 year ago

I have to ask after reading #5 if you going to be a bad*ss, why would you look away ?

Why bother to act like what you clearly can't back up ?