DISQUS

MonkMojo · 1 year ago

Mind blow.

Andrea Hess · 1 year ago

Awesome! As someone who comes from the spiritual development world, the Law of Attraction Megalomaniac is my personal favorite.

Thanks for the giggles!

Blessings,
Andrea

Lodewijk van den Broek · 1 year ago

This made me laugh :)

I recognize all the Mr Spaceman people, they make me laugh on a daily basis. And productivity = lots of gadgets, never understood that one. Productivity for me is getting as much done with as little as possible. Why would I need a gazillion gadgets? To automate stuff?

I just don't see the productivity = law of attraction connection. They're not on the same page in my book. The LOA people mostly are lazy people (not all of them) wanting it all, without doing a thing. Productivity peeps are mostly overcommiters, trying to get a grip on things.

I find that the latter often don't have a clear vision of what they want from life, but plenty of energy of getting it. While the former have no energy, but have a 'clear' picture of what they want. Especially what they want to OWN.

Jonathon Howard · 1 year ago

Thanks for the laugh, I'm so glad I don't have any of these people in my life!

Jay · 1 year ago

Last time I flipped my dharma I ended up a father.

Maria - Never the Same River T · 1 year ago

Hilarious stuff! One critique, though.

You forgot about Ikea Hacking.

JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, Yo · 1 year ago

LMAO

Clay, I had to laugh
This was quite entertaining - good for you
calling the real nutjobs out :)

melanie · 1 year ago

you have really great posts! been enjoying coming to the site to see what you serve up next.

Daniel Richard | Winning Every · 1 year ago

Ah! The two videos you posted before of having everything they see in stock images are "theirs to have". You are definitely having a kick out of this Fake Zen Productivity thingy. Cheers!

Sheamus · 1 year ago

"Mr. life hacks really isn

Dyan · 1 year ago

I have to agree with the comment Shaemus made that Mr. Hack is just a nerd trying to have more toys than the rest of the boys in the yard. It must be sad at the end of the day when all you can brag about is how much energy resources you depleated !

Coach Melissa Pierce · 1 year ago

loooove it.

Rob O. · 1 year ago

I get so incredibly tired of the self-important Mr. Bluetooths walking around everywhere these days!

If you're so vital to your company's survival - your constant communication so key to your personal success - that you can't take that silly Bluetooth headset off long enough to scarf down a couple of tacos, well, golly, what ever will happen should the unthinkable happen - like you get the flu or just need a day off?

This has gotten far past the point of absurd! Just because the technology exists to allow to do something, doesn't mean you should - or even that there's any legitimate need. We got along just fine without instant, always-available communicaton a decade or two ago...

And Blackberry owners are even worse! They feel the need to be able to respond to an email in a moment's notice. Makes me suspect that these bozos are even "thumbing" out message while on the potty...

Put down the cell phone & Bluetooth headset and get a grip!

Isabel Joely Black · 1 year ago

Fantastic piece!

I especially love the banana protector.

Guy at mildife · 1 year ago

Love it, these nut jobs need to be exposed. I see the guys with their phones on their ears thinking they are in a Star Trek movie, they look daft, the fake zen and The Secret are both just follies but The Secret really worries me because they will drain a lot of vulnerable people of their money, it should be illegal to scam like that. It is so distasteful.

The life hack clones just need a bit of therapy :O)

@Stephen Productivity in Cont · 1 year ago

LOL. Great post. I love the categories!
You will need to take some notes next week and run a post on the FMB party.

Dianne · 1 year ago

I love this entry...but I have to ask you about this phrase:

Laurie · 1 year ago

Haha, this post was hilarious, Clay. I recognize all of these types for sure.

@ Maria: I am totally subscribing to the IKEA Hacker RSS feed! That site is amazing!

Eric · 1 year ago

Where have you been all my life? Loved it, very clever and accurate.

Patricia - Spiritual Journey O · 1 year ago

Clay, I will ask what I did in my StumbleUpon comment, "Are these people afraid of the silence?" Without the silence, I would have no peace within or without. I have to spend time by myself, with myself, or I would go crazy, not to mention, I become bitchy to my husband when I am not getting my alone time. What is so frightening about spending time with yourself that these people have to stay plugged in all the time. Is that fear or what? Great article. It would be funny, if it weren't so true for some people.

Torley · 1 year ago

Clay, I appreciate how you're continuing to grab "productivity" by the balls and offer an attitude-laden, no-holds-barred approach to calling out the fakery and lame-ass "looks busy, does nothing" out there. Your humor is getting edgier (at least visibly), and in the wake of all these Zen Habits-copycat blogs cropping up which say the same basic things many times but fail to offer much new, I can relate to #5 AND AM CRACKING UP HERE!

Hilarious Lobot comparison image at the top.

Let me just say that whenever something's successful, be it a music style or lifestyle trend, unsavory parasites will try to cash in on it, and spotting these nutjobs and distinguishing them from the actual achievers is paramount. :)

Cylithria · 1 year ago

Absolutely love it. Well done, well done!

Columbine · 1 year ago

Well done. #3 is cropping up everywhere, subsuming apparently sane people's lives - I suspect it's an economy-linked plague...

J.D. Meier · 1 year ago

Against Mr. Spaceman, I must be Mr. Flintstone -- I have yet to get a cellphone. Someday. Maybe.

Barbara Swafford · 1 year ago

The cordless headsets/Bluetooths drive me nuts. I keep thinking people are talking to themselves or to me.

#4 reminds me of being in line at the airport as the person in front of me unloads their backpack.

Pat R · 1 year ago

Good post Clay. I guess people are coming up with more ways all the time to connect and plug in -- only they aren't plugging into anything of much value just more noise and chatter. Well it goes like they say, "Different strokes for different folks".

Duff · 1 year ago

Oh boy, this is fun.

jason · 1 year ago

These comments read like a lot of them were written by the same person. The post reads like a poorly done political campaign attack.

You've lost my interest.

Tom Stine · 1 year ago

Ah, come on, Clay, Fake Zen Guy a nut job? No, Fake Zen Guy is an opportunist. He's found a niche he can play in. He can Zen his business, Zen his house (Feng Shui is Chinese, but no matter), Zen his love life. It's all a strategy to get what most people want: M O R E!

However, all that Zen-stuff will get him someday. He will find himself forced to meditate and do yoga by his Zen girlfriend. He might actually find a moment of stillness, and the Fake Zen life will seem empty. The Universe always finds a way to get you, even Fake Zen Guy. :-)

MonkMojo · 1 year ago

@Tom: I have been patiently waiting (zen like) for your authoritative take on fake zen guy. It was worth the wait. Thank you.

David Hearst · 1 year ago

Got damn, who dun told you about the fake Samuel L. Jackson? Enjoyed the post Clay!

Rolf F. Katzenberger · 1 year ago

Clay, what a massive fun read!

Now please give us a self-ironic post about *you* ;-)

Sonia Simone · 1 year ago

Ah ha ha, this made me laugh. Thank you for making me feel better about being Ms. Fucking Dinosaur Who Can't Twitter Without Firing Up Her 20-Lb. Laptop.

Oops, can I swear in your comments? Sorry. Anyway. Awesome, thank you.

Guthrie · 1 year ago

Ha, fantastic. This reminds me of a lot of the Internets. I remember reading a "LifeHacker" site recently that had people obsessively cataloging their geek bags, and I had to stop looking at it, wash my hands, and go outside immediately.

Bob · 1 year ago

You should write for Maxim, cause this reads like all of the superficial bullshit Maxim articles I get suckered into reading.

Mark · 1 year ago

I loved your take on the Fake Zen Guy. I have come across a few of them myself lately. Scary stuff. You can lose track of reality.

Alaia Williams · 1 year ago

Funny post. I have definitely run into a ton of Fake Zen Guys (and Girls) and waaaaaay to many Law of Attraction Megalomaniacs.

weeksgo · 12 months ago

I love the Real Zen ve Fruit Zen. Very creative post!

Teri Mai · 10 months ago

This is great great! It inspires me! I want to be all of them!
Teri
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